| How To Go Wine Tasting | | | | By: Fran Benavidez | << back  Page 2 of 2 |
Nirvana in a Glass
After swirling your modest pour, burrow your nose into the glass as far as you can. People blessed with hook-shaped noses are physically superior at perfecting this technique. Close your eyes and inhale deeply. In wine circles, this looks surprisingly cool. What do you smell? A bowl of ripe cherries mixed with a dozen pink roses on the mid palate, followed by a hint of tree bark, with just a flicker of barnyard on the finish? It’s all there. The more you can smell the more hip you will appear, causing fellow wine tasters to form a semi-circle around the counter as they practically lift you upon their shoulders, chanting over your every observation. Through transcendence, they too, will smell the cherries and maybe even a barnyard or two. Give yourself a pat on the back for detecting the aromas of “fresh hay,” click your Keds together and repeat “vooway” ten times, really fast.
Save the Best for Last
Now that you’ve settled into your tasting routine, you will notice the pole stripper has just left the building with a case of Lust and Robert Parker’s Tide stick. At the other
end of the counter, Fifi’s Chateau La Paws have turned to an interesting shade of blush rosé, and she’s backing barkward. And, is that a wine label stuck to your forehead? Now grab your tasting notes and repeat “whoozray” ten times, really fast.
Finally, raise the glass to your eager mouth and longingly slurp the wine between your waiting lips. Close your eyes and swish the juice around like mouthwash, savoring all the decadent flavors as they languorously bathe over your tongue, then swallow. Open your eyes, turn sideways toward your tasting buddies, who will undoubtedly be rolling in hysterics, smack your lips together, and proclaim, “Ahhh…this stuff tastes pretty good to me.”
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